So much going on in our lives as usual. Sorry that it has been a while since I updated. Between physical therapy, starting my etsy store, trying to enroll in the local community college, scholarship hunting, it has been a lot. Thank you for your patients but feel free to drop by my personal blog at www.iamcurlylocks.blogspot.com and find out whats new.
Peace and Love,
Najeema
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Elly's Born Day
Not everything that I write on here is going to be pretty, but it will be truthful.
"I went through the labor pains but I didn't go through the pushing.....I just woke up and my belly was flatter and I was told she was healthy and in the NICU."
That was one of the first things I wrote after going through a C-Section with Elly. It was only the beginning of the deepest depression that I have ever felt in my life. For quite a while I was very disconnected from my newborn. This time around was different, if you didn't know Elly has an older sister. I guess its something through the pushing process, and feeling something so great come out of you, a tiny human that grew inside you for nine months and you alone bring them into the world.
A C-Section was the last possible option that we wanted. I went into the hospital for my scheduled induction and it didn't necessarily go as planned. It took far to long for me to dilate and after hours of holding on to my goal of another natural birth, it was taken away in an instant. Ellys' heart rate was unstable, every-time I had contraction it decreased significantly. We tried everything to change this. I knelt face forward against the hospital bed, rotated side to side, they even gave me something to relieve the pressure. Nothing worked. Ellys' heart rate dropped suddenly, doctors and nurses flooded my room. I was scared, I know my composed husband had to be scared. I only had a few moments to say a quick prayer with my spiritual mother over the phone, then I was wheeled away swiftly. I could only do what I was trained to do all my life, call on the name of Jesus. "Lord protect me. Lord touch the hands of the doctors" is the last thing I can remember before things got groggy and I was knocked out. I could still here what was going on around me a little bit, but I was completely incapacitated.
There was this nurse...to date, I can't remember her name, but she held my hand through the entire operation. She squeezed it at just the right moments to let me know that everything was going to be alright. I believe that God sends just the right people at just the right time and knows exactly what you need in the moment.
My faith has carried me through these hard months, it is the only thing that brought me out of the depth of depression. I have my moments from time to time where I doubt all that God has done for us, but then I am reminded of the blessing that I have been given in the form of Elly, our Joy.
Najeema
"I went through the labor pains but I didn't go through the pushing.....I just woke up and my belly was flatter and I was told she was healthy and in the NICU."
That was one of the first things I wrote after going through a C-Section with Elly. It was only the beginning of the deepest depression that I have ever felt in my life. For quite a while I was very disconnected from my newborn. This time around was different, if you didn't know Elly has an older sister. I guess its something through the pushing process, and feeling something so great come out of you, a tiny human that grew inside you for nine months and you alone bring them into the world.
A C-Section was the last possible option that we wanted. I went into the hospital for my scheduled induction and it didn't necessarily go as planned. It took far to long for me to dilate and after hours of holding on to my goal of another natural birth, it was taken away in an instant. Ellys' heart rate was unstable, every-time I had contraction it decreased significantly. We tried everything to change this. I knelt face forward against the hospital bed, rotated side to side, they even gave me something to relieve the pressure. Nothing worked. Ellys' heart rate dropped suddenly, doctors and nurses flooded my room. I was scared, I know my composed husband had to be scared. I only had a few moments to say a quick prayer with my spiritual mother over the phone, then I was wheeled away swiftly. I could only do what I was trained to do all my life, call on the name of Jesus. "Lord protect me. Lord touch the hands of the doctors" is the last thing I can remember before things got groggy and I was knocked out. I could still here what was going on around me a little bit, but I was completely incapacitated.
There was this nurse...to date, I can't remember her name, but she held my hand through the entire operation. She squeezed it at just the right moments to let me know that everything was going to be alright. I believe that God sends just the right people at just the right time and knows exactly what you need in the moment.
My faith has carried me through these hard months, it is the only thing that brought me out of the depth of depression. I have my moments from time to time where I doubt all that God has done for us, but then I am reminded of the blessing that I have been given in the form of Elly, our Joy.
Najeema
Monday, April 2, 2012
Southern Michigan Spina Bifida Connection
One of the greatest joys of my life right now is to be apart of a grassroots organization called The Southern Michigan Spina Bifida Connection. Basically we are a Michigan based group, hoping to create awareness and prevention of Spina Bifida in our great lakes state. In the future we also hope to provide financial and emotional support for families affected by Spina Bifida.
On Saturday I had the opportunity to attend a my first official meeting. There were about 17 of us. Some medical staff who work with our kiddos everyday, new parents trying to overcome challenges of day to day life, experienced parents acting in an advisory capacity, and adults with Spina Bifida. It was so encouraging to know that I am not alone in this, and that we are not the only family with questions. You go through a lot having a child with Spina Bifida, and sometimes there is uncertainty. The best way to have peace of mind is to live one day at a time, without thinking about tomorrow. Elly is one of the greatest blessing in my life. I have grown so much as a woman since she was born. I believe I know about my vulnerabilities after having her.
On another note, Southern Michigan Spina Bifida Connection is in the process of planning several different fundraisers right now, but our main event is Rock, Roll, and Bowl which is June 15, 2012 at Drakeshire Lanes in Farmington Hills, MI. This event is a fundraiser to benefit the National Spina Bifida Association apart of their 100 Nights of Parties. It will be an event filled with food, fun, and live entertainment. For ticketing information visit http://rockrollandbowl.eventbrite.com/. We are still looking for corporate, business, and personal sponsors so if you are interested email Morgan at rockrollandbowl@gmail.com or email me directly at najeemat@gmail.com.
To find out more about SMSBC visit our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/groups/306634406062955/
Najeema
On Saturday I had the opportunity to attend a my first official meeting. There were about 17 of us. Some medical staff who work with our kiddos everyday, new parents trying to overcome challenges of day to day life, experienced parents acting in an advisory capacity, and adults with Spina Bifida. It was so encouraging to know that I am not alone in this, and that we are not the only family with questions. You go through a lot having a child with Spina Bifida, and sometimes there is uncertainty. The best way to have peace of mind is to live one day at a time, without thinking about tomorrow. Elly is one of the greatest blessing in my life. I have grown so much as a woman since she was born. I believe I know about my vulnerabilities after having her.
On another note, Southern Michigan Spina Bifida Connection is in the process of planning several different fundraisers right now, but our main event is Rock, Roll, and Bowl which is June 15, 2012 at Drakeshire Lanes in Farmington Hills, MI. This event is a fundraiser to benefit the National Spina Bifida Association apart of their 100 Nights of Parties. It will be an event filled with food, fun, and live entertainment. For ticketing information visit http://rockrollandbowl.eventbrite.com/. We are still looking for corporate, business, and personal sponsors so if you are interested email Morgan at rockrollandbowl@gmail.com or email me directly at najeemat@gmail.com.
To find out more about SMSBC visit our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/groups/306634406062955/
Najeema
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Importance of a Support System
In the midst of being pregnant with Eliana, and her being diagnosed with Spina Bifida, we moved to a new city. My husband got a higher paying job that meet our financial obligations, but not my emotional needs. Moving to a new city definitely created more challenges. Sometimes it is very discouraging not having a support system around. People have very good intentions but the saying "out of sight, out of mind," will forever stand the test of time.
All I know is the D. Being miles a way from the city that I have called home is heartbreaking. Most of the time it's just me, the hubs, and the girls. We don't get many visitors other than our bi-weekly meeting with Eliana's state provided physical therapist or the people from the research study that we participate in. We don't really know many people in our new hometown, other than a few familes that I have met in the cry room at church, and to date I haven't met any families with children with special needs.
Up until a month ago, I really didn't have anyone to talk to. (Recently I meet other Michigan moms with children with Spina Bifida, and will be talking about that in the future.) All of my friends are becoming more like associates. People often say what they are going to do, seldom follow through. And if I hear someone say, "If you need anything don't hesitate to call," again I am going to scream, most of the time their voice mail is all I get. At this point there is no reason for dialing.
Currently my support system consist of talking to my mom on a daily basis, and every so often getting a message asking how the girls are doing from a random friend on facebook. I have over a thousand.
This post probably seems more like a rant, but the truth is it is so important to have a support system when you are going through a situation like this. For me the baby blues probably lasted a little to long, and it is cliche in the Christian community to ask for help from a psychologist, but I probably needed one. Not only was I adjusting to having a new baby, I was adjusting to a new life of having a child born with Spina Bifida. Our lives aren't over, her life has only begun, and she is surely doing far better than the wacko's who thought that I should get an abortion.
I have my days, most days, where I am left wondering what is going to happen next. The nagging question in the back of my mind, "Will She Walk?" Then she does something amazing like crawling over a toy, or pulling to stand and I realize it doesn't matter Will she in future, but what she IS doing today. To my families with children who have Spina Bifida or any other special need/disability, seek help. Don't go with questions unanswered. If your depressed don't suffer in silence. It is so important to have a support system and if you don't have one, find a support group to be apart of. Families that are going through a similar situation can truly provide great in sight. Get help and get involved, we need you.
Najeema
All I know is the D. Being miles a way from the city that I have called home is heartbreaking. Most of the time it's just me, the hubs, and the girls. We don't get many visitors other than our bi-weekly meeting with Eliana's state provided physical therapist or the people from the research study that we participate in. We don't really know many people in our new hometown, other than a few familes that I have met in the cry room at church, and to date I haven't met any families with children with special needs.
Up until a month ago, I really didn't have anyone to talk to. (Recently I meet other Michigan moms with children with Spina Bifida, and will be talking about that in the future.) All of my friends are becoming more like associates. People often say what they are going to do, seldom follow through. And if I hear someone say, "If you need anything don't hesitate to call," again I am going to scream, most of the time their voice mail is all I get. At this point there is no reason for dialing.
Currently my support system consist of talking to my mom on a daily basis, and every so often getting a message asking how the girls are doing from a random friend on facebook. I have over a thousand.
This post probably seems more like a rant, but the truth is it is so important to have a support system when you are going through a situation like this. For me the baby blues probably lasted a little to long, and it is cliche in the Christian community to ask for help from a psychologist, but I probably needed one. Not only was I adjusting to having a new baby, I was adjusting to a new life of having a child born with Spina Bifida. Our lives aren't over, her life has only begun, and she is surely doing far better than the wacko's who thought that I should get an abortion.
I have my days, most days, where I am left wondering what is going to happen next. The nagging question in the back of my mind, "Will She Walk?" Then she does something amazing like crawling over a toy, or pulling to stand and I realize it doesn't matter Will she in future, but what she IS doing today. To my families with children who have Spina Bifida or any other special need/disability, seek help. Don't go with questions unanswered. If your depressed don't suffer in silence. It is so important to have a support system and if you don't have one, find a support group to be apart of. Families that are going through a similar situation can truly provide great in sight. Get help and get involved, we need you.
Najeema
Monday, March 12, 2012
Family Stories
We are not the only family affected by Spina Bifida. There a ton's of encouraging stories out there, of families who have overcome many hurdles. I have the honor of being apart of a grassroots Michigan group called, The Southern Michigan Spina Bifida Connection. Today one of the family's journey shared an article that highlighted there families journey.
Check this article out http://www.candgnews.com/news/local-family-rides-emotional-roller-coaster-way-birth-baby-girl
I know we are not the only one's out there. What's your story??
Najeema
To find out more about Spina Bifida, resources available, and how you can help the cause visit www.spinabifidaassociation.org
Check this article out http://www.candgnews.com/news/local-family-rides-emotional-roller-coaster-way-birth-baby-girl
I know we are not the only one's out there. What's your story??
Najeema
To find out more about Spina Bifida, resources available, and how you can help the cause visit www.spinabifidaassociation.org
Thursday, March 8, 2012
"The Diagnosis"
"The Diagnosis" from I AM Curly Locks Blog
After a late night visit to the emergency in December, while pregnant with my daughter Eliana, they told me that something was different about my pregnancy. When doctor's say stuff like that, it puts you on edge. I was completely frantic, and when I went to a follow up appointment two weeks later and heard "the news," I was a complete mess. The tears were flowin', emotions roarin', and I didn't really understand what was going on. They referred me to the genetics department, which didn't make the situation sound any better.
My meeting with genetics went a little something like this. Heartbeat, heartbeat, thump-thump, thump-thump, heartdrop, tears, tears, and tears as I was told that my daughter would have clubbed feet and, wait for it, Spina Bifida. When this diagnosis came, it seemed like a death sentence as they told me the options, "You are early enough in your pregnancy, if you don't want to continue on with it. Termination is an option as this will be hard on your fairly new marriage and your one year old..."
I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. My mind raced, an unspoken dialogue of heartbreak taking over my mind. I was put into one of the most challenging experiences in my life, and you want to talk about "The Option," which was no option for me.
Note: This is just the beginning official blog launch April-May. In the mean time feel free to check out my personal blog at www.iamcurlylocks.blogspot.com
After a late night visit to the emergency in December, while pregnant with my daughter Eliana, they told me that something was different about my pregnancy. When doctor's say stuff like that, it puts you on edge. I was completely frantic, and when I went to a follow up appointment two weeks later and heard "the news," I was a complete mess. The tears were flowin', emotions roarin', and I didn't really understand what was going on. They referred me to the genetics department, which didn't make the situation sound any better.
My meeting with genetics went a little something like this. Heartbeat, heartbeat, thump-thump, thump-thump, heartdrop, tears, tears, and tears as I was told that my daughter would have clubbed feet and, wait for it, Spina Bifida. When this diagnosis came, it seemed like a death sentence as they told me the options, "You are early enough in your pregnancy, if you don't want to continue on with it. Termination is an option as this will be hard on your fairly new marriage and your one year old..."
I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. My mind raced, an unspoken dialogue of heartbreak taking over my mind. I was put into one of the most challenging experiences in my life, and you want to talk about "The Option," which was no option for me.
Note: This is just the beginning official blog launch April-May. In the mean time feel free to check out my personal blog at www.iamcurlylocks.blogspot.com
Sunday, March 4, 2012
For the Love of Elly:Our Journey Living with Spina Bifida
For the Love of Elly is currently under construction. Will be officially launched in April. Sorry for the inconvenience. Would love for you to check out my personal blog at www.iamcurlylocks.blogspot.com
Najeema
Najeema
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)