One of the pains of having a child with a special ability are the days when your child has to sit on the side lines and watch other kids play. This hasn''t happened to me all to often, as Elly is only 19 months old, but when it does happen it makes me want to cry.
Elly has a cousin who is a few months younger than her, and is walking. I know that things are going to take a bit longer because of Spina Bifida but it hurts a little. Yesterday all of the children, including Elly's older sister were playing a running game. I don't know all the dynamics and rules of the game, but it conisisted of them running in a circle thorugh the doorways of my aunts house and chasing each other, over and over again. (Kind of annoying at times.) Elly of course is one of the youngest and since she is not walking had to crawl in a circle. Having to crawl kind of put her in the way of the game, causing the other children to trip over her. Needless to say we had to remove her from the game, which she was none to happy about. She wanted to run and play just like the rest of the kids, but she just couldn't. It broke my heart because there really wasn't anything I could do about it. If I let her crawl during the game, I take the risk of her getting hurt, and I definitely didn't want to have to take a trip to the hospital.
Prior to spending time with family we were at the hospital for quite a few hours. It was general check up with the urology department, a urodynamics study and a renal bladder ultrasound (RBUS). It was a long day. We only had one meltdown, and for the most part both of the girls were patient. We will get the results back soon, but as always I am apprehensive. Though Elly is exceeding expectations in many areas, things could change at any moment and I just don't know if I could take that right now. My husbands work schedule is crazy, I'm tired and yet still trying to generate extra income to our household. It is a lot right now, and friendships for me are very few and far between. Though God is awesome, we were created as relational creatures and we we lack that, it causes a host of issues. I thank God that I am rebuilding my relationship with my mother, but there are just certain things that you don't want to talk to your mother about. My husband is often my shoulder to cry on, but having a female confidant would be nice.
Despite the multitude of post that speak of the challenges in our lives, I know that there is hope. Optimism is the key to successfully parenting a child with any special ability but it is not always easy to come by, a spoon full of sugar doesn't always help the medicine go down, and you have bad days often. You desire for your child to live limitless, but sometimes there seems to be a bridge that you just can't cross. It's got to get better....I konw it is...